By the time our first child was 12 years old, we had already moved a total of 12 times. We had lived in houses, apartments and cottages, from the first floor to the third, city, suburbs and rural. I suppose you could say we had nomadic tendencies! Unlike Nomads, however, we acquired the same amount of stuff over the years as someone who had lived in only two locations in as much time. (Two, because we have so much STUFF permanently in boxes!)
Moving can be traumatic for parents and kids alike: looking ahead to a New Town, New Schools, New Friends, not to mention the inevitable Moving Day!
Kids Toy Boxes
To make your transition easier, here are some important tips:
First of all, as much as possible, find out all you can about your New Town ahead of time. If you are able to, go there several times. Find out where the shops are, VISIT the schools, speak to shop owners and the local Chamber of Commerce. Read the local Newspapers. Meet people in your new neighborhood.
If you are moving long distance and cannot spend much time there before hand, USE THE PHONE! Call the phone company and get a local phone book, both white and yellow pages. You can also use the Internet to do a variety of searches. Subscribe to the local newspapers. Call the Chamber of Commerce, they are happy to send you information about the area (that's their job!). Call the schools! Principals are busy, but most will call you back. Have a list of concerns and questions ready for them when you call. And don't be shy about dropping by once you do move to the area.
With your yellow pages and newspapers as resources, you can pick out people or businesses to call and ask about the town and schools. You could even do a survey! If you can, speak to some of your new neighbors, find out whose children yours will be going to school with. Perhaps even let the children speak so they already know someone before you move.
All this may sound time consuming, but the more you know about your New Town, the more comfortable you will be and the easier it will be to settle your children.
Make sure you have copies of your children's files from school, physician and dentist and keep them in your purse, briefcase, primary suitcase, or if you must pack them in a box, put them with your kitchen dishes or pots and pans. (Most of us unpack kitchen boxes first!) You will want easy access to these files.
OK. You've done all of your ground-work. What about packing??
Go to the supermarkets, hardware, liquor and variety stores to get boxes. Get on your local FreeCycle website and ask for moving boxes there, too. More and more people are "willing" their moving boxes to someone else when they unpack. You can join the FreeCycle site in your New Town, too, and return the favor.
The local truck rental place has the best packing tape. Go to the local newspaper and ask for the end of the roll of newsprint. (They can't use it past a certain point, but there's plenty there to pack fragile items and for the kids to draw on!) Some newspapers charge a small fee, but it's well worth it to be able pack your fragile items in CLEAN paper. Newsprint ink can be a nightmare to get off your glasses, dishes, etc.
Pack your seldom-used items way ahead of time. If you begin to pack a box or two a day, it really helps. Your kids won't miss a few things, and you can do without the "good china" and the extra sets of sheets, not to mention the junk in the garage, the attic and the basement! Have a yard sale. Have two! Give stuff to local shelters and post it on that FreeCycle website I mentioned earlier.
A few days before you move, you really need to get busy. We all have more stuff than we ever imagined! Which reminds me, MAKE SURE YOU GET A BIG ENOUGH TRUCK! There's nothing worse than having a full truck and a full house too! Also, reserve a "hand truck" for moving appliances and large furniture. (It's like a dolly, but heavy duty.) Of course, if you are fortunate enough to afford a large professional moving company, then you don't have to worry about how big the truck is or how your heavy belongings will get moved.
If you have children under 2, get a babysitter for this time period or have them go to someone else's house. They know their environment is changing, but they are not usually too upset by it. It's more fun to pull stuff out of boxes or crawl through the empty ones. Mainly they are underfoot, which can add to your stress.
For children from 2 to 3 or 4 years old, they should be out of the house, perhaps even spend a few days with loving relatives. Packing the house can be very disorienting for this age group and they are too young to really understand what is going on.
Once the house is packed up, many experts have said not to bring the child back into the house. They do not know why it is empty and can become very frightened. I do agree with this. Although we may want to show the child for transition purposes, this age group is more frightened than assisted. It is better to bring them from one full house directly to the new house with the furniture in it. Let the in-between days pass at Grandma's or Aunty's or the home of a dear friend. To these wee ones, everything happens "magically" anyway!
From about age 5, children are old enough to help with various amounts of packing. From 5 to 8, they will want to help you pack their things. They may even want to help you pack your things. 9 to 12 year-olds will probably want or need you to help them with their belongings. Teens, one would hope, would be able to pack their own rooms, with only occasional assistance from a parent.
For the Moving Day, you probably would be happier if the 5 to 9 year-olds are off playing at a friend's house! From about 10 years old, they are usually strong enough to help carry small boxes, so you may want them around for at least part of the day. You know your own children, these ages are just guidelines.
If this is a do-it-yourself move, which all 12 of ours have been, make sure you have enough people helping! There are never too many! Plan on ordering Pizza for everyone and let them know ahead of time that there will be food! Once we even had a Potluck for the Big Day. There was tons of food and lots of great friends helping to pack the truck.
Oh, I almost forgot, be sure to remember to clean the house after your truck is packed. Paying someone else to do it is well worth it! A clean house may also mean the difference between getting back your security deposit, or not, if you are renting. (Take pictures!)
No matter what kind of send off you create, when you get to your new residence, you will probably feel lonely. If your move is not too far away, some of your REALLY GOOD, DEDICATED FRIENDS (or those who owe you BIG TIME) will follow you and help you unload. Otherwise, you may want to scrounge the neighborhood for some teenage boys aching to prove their manhood and earn a few bucks!
Moving can be stressful, but being prepared can prevent many potential problems in the transition.
GOOD LUCK!